he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
