Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
