Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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