That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
