Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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