You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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