I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
