She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
