and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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