But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
