Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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