i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
