I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm always down for nudity.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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