just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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