Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
