remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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