it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
