your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
