Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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