I hate all girls vehemently.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
