i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
