Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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