my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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