office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Come see our sink grown plant.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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