i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
