you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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