For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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