Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
