She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
