Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
