he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
