bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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