Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
