You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
