talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
