I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
so much tequila, so little girl.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
