eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
