Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
