But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
