Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he puts the penis in happiness.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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