..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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