Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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