I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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