hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
