Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
