Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
