Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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