I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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