it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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