I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
