Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
