Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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