Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
