I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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