So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
